
Men's Health Week provides a platform for challenging and debating key issues in men's health and to raise the profile of men, their health outcomes and health needs.
It celebrates the strengths of men, the contributions they make and the important role they play in society. It is as much a week of celebration and engagement with men with a serving of health and wellbeing on the side!
Now on to my viewpoint as a professional athlete and Director of Sport here at Lindisfarne College. Most of us know about this country's staggering male suicide rates and mental health issues. This is a very confronting issue and a tricky thing to talk about. There's a constant battle between those that are open to sharing against those (most Kiwi men) who will shut down and keep things inside. Mental Health week helps to bring issues to the forefront of the mind and show that it’s brave not shameful to talk through your issues.
There has been an significant increase in depression awareness due to high-profile Kiwis like John Kirwan and Mike King, who have launched male-targeted campaigns to reduce stigma and shame. Hopefully men look at them and say ‘well if JK's willing to speak up about it, then perhaps it's okay for me too’. The value of manly men talking about wellbeing can't be overstated as generally in New Zealand our heroes are the likes of Edmund Hillary and the All Blacks. It’s good to have heroes, but it creates a macho stereotype of the ideal New Zealand male which is probably not true. I think a lot of guys who aren't in that boat really struggle with ‘that's not me, but I can't let people see it's not me’.
Depression is a black hole and it can be impossible to see a way out. Balance is always key. If boys at the College for example are doing; multiple sports, have cultural commitments and study this can add stress. Usually we think of stress and mental health in adults but these issues can be very present in the young. It can manifest in a variety of ways, withdrawing from people, lashing out, bullying…..the list goes on, it’s very much a self-sabotaging thing or a façade to protect your true self. We are all different and we need to embrace our own personal difference and respect those that you may think might be different from you.
Families need to be checking in and having frank conversations with their sons and supporting their decisions and sometimes challenging them as well. Times are tough at the moment especially with what has recently hit New Zealand and the globe through Covid-19 and the Black Lives Matter Movement. Even though you might be finding it tough at home you still need to check in with your son and make time to have some up front conversations. Apart from Men’s Health Week brings this to the fore currently, we also need to be setting time aside every week to do this.
Sometimes it can be very hard to draw someone out of their thicket of misery and immediate family might not be the right person to do this. So contact us at school, reach out to someone slightly removed yet trusted as this is where staff, friends and mentors can come in.
We spend about a third of our waking hours at school (for boarders it’s all day and night) so, of course, it has an impact on our mental wellbeing. It's a hugely complicated issue, boys bring their lives into school and they don't just check their lives at the gate or the boarding house door, they bring them into school, and their mental health and wellbeing affects not only them but others around them.
I am a fan of Mike King's phrase: “If you pick the scab off a wound, you'd better be sure you've got a bandage handy.” We as a school don't have all the answers, but if there's a solution that looks like it might work, let's try it. If it doesn't work, what can we tweak to make it better? We can't just keep going down the track we know.
When you open up about these things, support can come from many directions;
As you may tell from the above I am very passionate about mental health and if anyone who reads this would like to discuss things further please reach out, my door is always open!
Ngā mihi | Kind regards,
Shea McAleese – Director of Sport
Article added: Friday 19 June 2020